Finding your personal style
Personal style, how do you find it? I asked myself this question for many years, researching different aesthetics and style icons, yearning to find a look that fit me. Well, here’s the thing, I was looking in all the wrong places. Fashion has always been about more than just clothes; it’s a way to express yourself and your individuality. Throughout the beginning of my journey to rediscovering my personal style, I was so concerned with finding an aesthetic that resonated with me that rather than drawing inspiration from what I was exposed to, I got lost in trying to conform myself to these certain styles. Personal style is so much more than just an aesthetic though, true style isn’t defined by the latest trends or designer labels but by the way you embrace your true self through what you wear. It’s a reflection of who you are and what you want to express to the world. When we dress in a way that aligns with our unique selves, we radiate at a frequency that draws others in and leaves a lasting impression.
Yet, in a world full of fast fashion and trends, it’s easy to get lost in the stimulation, forgetting to look inward. For me, that meant getting lost in aesthetics that didn’t align with who I was or wanted to be. The biggest trend/aesthetic I fell victim to was subversive basics. Although it helped develop my style, I would tend to copy fits directly from Pinterest or my favorite fashion influencers, and wondered why it never felt quite so me. I wasn’t drawing inspiration- I was trying to fit in. But personal style isn’t about following what’s “in” or becoming someone else. It’s about embracing you and the unique essence of who you are. Our style can speak volumes without uttering a word. Once you embrace that, everything else falls into place.
“Style is a simple way of saying complicated things.”
Jean Cocteau
You aren’t going to find yourself overnight, have patience with yourself and embrace the journey as there really is no final destination. Just as finding yourself is a continuous journey throughout your life, so is finding your style. As you change, so will your style and that’s okay.
Investing in a capsule wardrobe can be incredibly helpful in this process. Having a good quality set of basics, like a little black dress or a white button down, that go with many different looks and styles will allow you to experiment with more ease. Having too many options could possibly lead to a feeling of decision paralysis, leaving us feeling overwhelmed with choices. As much as I love to shop ‘til I drop, I found that many times these items would be worn once and lost in my jungle of a closet, and once again I would have a closet full of clothes with “nothing to wear”. Try to only invest in items that you truly love or bring you joy, items that you can and will style in multiple different ways. Many things can be versatile, for example, a scarf can make a wonderful belt or a long skirt can be worn as a strapless dress. The possibilities are endless.
My favorite way I began to find my own individual style was through creating lookbooks and inspiration boards, filled with colors, silhouettes, textures, and looks that caught my eye. Whether you prefer creating boards on Pinterest or creating physical collages, this process can help highlight the pieces that resonate with you and overtime, you will begin to see a pattern (pun intended) of the looks that speak to you.
I also tend to draw inspiration from the world around me through movies, art, and nature. A favorite character's style or paintings in a museum can spark ideas for new ways to approach fashion. I personally have drawn a lot of inspiration from Gossip Girl, incorporating Blair’s feminine flair with Serena’s carefree feel and Jenny’s punk-like looks into my own style, as well as Sex and the City(with an eye on Carrie and Charlotte). Sometimes, just people-watching or observing how others put their looks together can give you a fresh perspective on what you’d like to try for yourself. Fashion is everywhere if you start looking with an open mind.
I know, style experimentation can feel intimidating at first. It’s easy to second guess yourself or get caught up in overthinking your looks. I’ve myself spent countless hours staring at my closet, trying on outfit after outfit, feeling completely frustrated because nothing seemed to be working for me or coming together as I imagined. So how can we get over this feeling of “I have nothing to wear”? Well I’ve found a great solution, at home fashion shows. Pick a day when you have some time to yourself. Pour yourself a drink (wine, tea, whatever makes you feel good), put on your favorite music, and play around with different looks. Have fun with it, and make sure to take pictures of your favorite outfits for future reference. Don’t be afraid to step out of your comfort zone!
At its core, fashion should be about freedom, freedom to express yourself and freedom to evolve. Your personal style shouldn’t be confined to a single look or style. It can be minimal one day, maximal the next. It can be whatever you want it to be. The beauty of fashion is in the variety, and in knowing that every choice you make is an expression of your unique self. One thing I’ve learned is that embracing your quirks, the unique pieces you’re drawn to and the looks you personally adore, gives your wardrobe character. Whether you love bold patterns and vibrant colors or prefer timeless, minimalist styles, each approach can be equally beautiful. Think of fashion icons like Audrey Hepburn or Vivienne Westwood, pretty and punk styles that have influenced generations. Their styles are so different, yet equally adored.
Ultimately, style is about having the courage to be yourself, confident that no matter what you wear, it’s an expression of you. The most memorable fashion moments have come from people who dress with a sense of self-expression and individuality. By embracing yourself and your personal sense of style, you can create a wardrobe that not only feels as unique and dynamic as you are, but one you truly love.